I can’t even begin to fathom it.
I took the month of December off from the blog world. Mostly because I had a very sick kiddo the entire month but also because It was quite a busy month for my family. Looking forward to jumping back into the blogging scene with fresh posts, fun stories from my little family, and all kinds of outlooks and opinions.
It seems that nearly everyone I know on this New Years day has posted their Resolutions they plan to attack this year. I’ve never really been one for resolutions, for a lot reasons really. I am not a stick to, do, and complete kinda gal. I tend to be really excited about something but when the excitement wears off so does my interest. I’m also a huge procrastinator… tomorrow is always better than today and next week is even better than that. Thus, December rolls around and I’m just starting on my resolution. 🙂 Finally, I only like to set short term goals because the long term seems so unreachable. I don’t like to fail and thus it’s much easier to set something short term than it is to promise myself a big win. Small victories for this girl is more than enough.
So if I don’t set a new years resolution… then what is the point of a 2014 post? Well, for me starting a new year is about reflection. Reflecting on the year before and taking away from it only the good and moving forward. Reflecting on the lessons I could have done without but learning from them and not looking back. Summing up what I learned from a year in the life of me and running with it into the next year.
2013 was a year to remember. We celebrated E’s very first birthday in January and her very first gotcha day in December! She baffled us with her language skills and made us laugh more than we ever expected. E has the keen ability to keep our hearts light and our spirits full of joy. I ran into a health scare that challenged my faith and my strength… even as I write today I question who has really won that small battle. I gained wonderful friendships in sweet ladies who also call themselves “mommy.” I celebrated small and great joys with friends – from moves, engagement, babies, and graduations. I had heartbreak through some incredible losses. And I learned that even decisions that seem right at the time could be the wrong ones. I learned not to hold on to things that are ready to let go and to move forward on even the hardest days. I learned the grief of falling in love with an angel baby… though her hours on earth were small, her impact was incredible, Eliza will never be forgotten and her memories lives on. : ) I learned that the very things in front of us are worth fighting for and that love is a full time gift. One worth working at. I learned that the things of this life that we aren’t prepared for could lead us into the biggest grace of all. The little things that even though we don’t see at the given moment is a complete blessing in disguise.
My biggest lesson that I have clung to tightly is the lesson of grace. This year after some hard battles, I could genuinely take a step back and see Grace’s hand all over the situations. From timing to circumstances. There have been times where I broke down questioning and angry with life. It’s funny how things completely fall into place even when we can’t possibly imagine that they will. Someone asked me how a certain set of circumstances could pass as grace to me… and why didn’t I look at it as a bad hand dealt or the complete opposite of blessing. It’s simple… I know how much worse it could have been. I know exactly where I could have ended up. I was graced with a daughter who simply snuggled with me on days that I felt so terrible. I am graced that my husband works full time so that I do not have to… thus I no longer have to worry about leave or someone trying to get my work done by a certain deadline because I can’t. I am graced with friends and family, who despite knowing my every being (the goods, the bads, and my failures) still love me unconditionally. Grace… not every situation was an easy one this year. Grace not only saw me through them, but also shielded me from things, at the time I couldn’t possibly fathom. In some ways, my hardest minutes were my greatest blessings and that is certainly something to be thankful for. And that is certainly grace.
I am immensely looking forward to 2014. I can’t wait to see how much my sweet girl grows. I’m anxious to strive to be a better person than I was in 2013. I’m excited to see where life takes my little family. Every minute is an absolute gift and I am so excited to live it. There’s blessing in the new year and the waking up to see it.
My biggest wish for all my readers this year is that you strive to be better than the last year. That you love who you are and are proud of the decisions you make. That you fight for good and squash bad. That even when you hurt… you unroll your covers and get out of bed with your chin up. To be strong even when you feel incredibly weak. To smile at every stranger and hug as often as you can. Choose life, friends… in every possible way that you are able. 🙂
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!